to be honest, lately or actually since i 1st heard this song, it just stuck in my head..till this moment..i mean this one song, none other than In The Night Sky by After School RED..huhu..why? i dont even know the words, hardly understand any of it, but solely just because of the intro phrase; I DONT WANNA LOVE, DONT WANNA LOVE YOU..."..hmm..who is that "YOU"..honestly i dont even know..lol..then why i just love it so much? seriously..i just dont know why..hoho
sometimes it kinda reminds me of how sweet love is, but how much pain does it cost..& sometimes it flashed some of my memories..those i thought i want to erase..but in the end there it is, still kept deep down inside somewhere in my mind, in my heart..not to regret but just as another memories..also as a lesson..but for real, theres not even much to keep..hahaha
yea seriously..i mean, as i would consider it as love like seriously LOVE, it was only twice..the rest? not a fling but just a brief relationship & a process trying to get to know each other which just doesnt seemed to work out..hoho..i mean come on, yea there is somewhat love at first sight, i am not gonna deny that..but an "instant love" with a total stranger which incidentally just last for a month or two, no i wont consider it as love..hoho..
so when was the two "in memories" love of mine? lol..ok the 1st one for sure was my 1st love..hoho..i know her for years in middle school, having some monkey love when we're 15..only around we're 17 we somewhat took it like seriously..i mean as long as i thought i did..but then it was a mistake..why? because i didnt analize much & forgot about our "time off" - we somewhat keep it down low @ too low when we're 16..lol..& the rest, was left as a history..hahaha..but thank god, till this very moment we are still in touch as friend, & i am happy for her:)
while the 2nd one, i know her just right after it went down with the 1st one..that fast huh? lol.. but no, it was nothing but a friend..untill last year..yup! after years of silence & rarely say hi, it somewhat happened around last year..but in the end, it only last just for somewhat a month..& no i dont blame her..i would say, as a guy, i should take more responsibilities over the matter..but i didnt..so yeah it was completely my bad..huhu..& what ive learned the most from these two was, & guys out there please do take note, GIRLS DO NEED MUCH ATTENTION FROM YOU & DONT EVER DISREGARD THEIR NEEDS & FEELINGS..& maybe that is also the main reason ive decided to ride a solo life..because i am just no good with commitment, or should i say, im just no good with relationships..huhuhu
so yeah, its easier for a guy (maybe also for girls, i dont know) to just play it safe, live a single life..but for how long? sooner or later, you wouldnt want to spend the rest of your life as a wasted guy livin in his "beautiful" life..so for me, maybe not now, maybe later, maybe tomorow..who knows right? whatever He plans for us, anything can happen no matter with or without your will..so just go on, follow the flow of the wind & see whats comin for you..because in the end, you cannot hide from love when it finds you..astalavista:)
p/s: i actually wanted to post the song but i already wrote too much *LOL* & my connection is just so damn awesome - i hardly open the youtube & etc..so ill post it later..maybe..hahaha..